WE'VE MOVED!

This blog has moved and can now be found at: www.holisticmotherhood.com

SEE YOU THERE!

Meatless May

Dinner is my nemesis. I hate thinking about it, talking about, asking my husband about it. That is, unless I know we are going out to dinner, then I am ALL about dinner and will happily pick the place and cuisine.

If we have to make dinner, and it's a weeknight, then I would rather do just about anything else than make the decision and/or start cooking when I get home from work. I know most of you know what I am talking about. Whether you have kids or not, if you work all day, most of you are not looking forward to cooking dinner (this is based on my own very science-y scientific research)!

So since I am a glutton for punishment, I have decided to narrow my choices even further and make dinner even MORE fun by not eating meat for the month of May. It comes from concerns about animal welfare and seeing videos that I cannot now unsee. I've gone mostly meatless before (except fish) then I got pregnant and later nursed a baby and could eat my weight in meat. Now with my appetite back to a somewhat normal pace, I am re-thinking the meat thing again.

I didn't eat most meat for a few years (only fish) and it was hard but I felt great! Also if you follow the "eat right for your blood type," those of us with type A should be meat-free, twig and berry eaters! My hubs on the other hand, is an O -- meat-eater all the way!

I am going to take it slow and just commit to one month (cutting ALL meat). So far, so good.

Here is what I am having for lunch today:

tomato, mozzarella, arugula and avocado - yum!

Honest Company Diapers, SAP (Sodium Polyacrylate) and creative marketing

I love the Honest Company's diapers. I have used them, along with the wipes, from day one and have been happy. Plus, they have super cute designs.

Credit: Honest Company Website

Recently, I read a review of the diapers from BabyGearLab . While I have not found any issues with the diapers absorbency, versus other "green" diapers, as the review did, I was taken a back by what the review said was some misrepresentation by the Honest Company's marketing. Specifically that their diapers had been touted as "100% plant-based."

Also, the Honest Company, in its "What's Inside Disposable Diapers" section, is highly critical of competing diapers inclusion of SAP in their absorbent core, stating "sodium polyacrylate (SAP) is the main component of those absorbent gel crystals found in many diapers and it can be a skin irritant."

That's fine, but to be fair, the Honest Company, who is transparent in its ingredient list, also uses SAP, which is a petrochemical.

The review went on to say that the company's co-founder Christopher Gavigan told BabyGearLab that the Honest Diaper is 80% plant-based and claims of being "100% plant-based" have been removed from the company's marketing. However, this remains:

Honest diapers are FREE of: 

chlorine processing, latex, lotions, fragrances, common allergens, phthalates, optical brighteners, PVC, heavy metals, organotins (MBT, DBT, TBT) & harsh petrochemical additives

I had tweeted a comment to the Honest Company, asking about SAP in their diapers. Later, a rep from the company reached out to me. Below is her comment regarding SAP in the diapers:

"Our Diapers have an absorbent BIO Core (wheat and corn starch) that is blended with SAP for increased absorbency. As traditional SAP is petrochemical-based, we try to use as little as possible while still maintaining superior absorbency, which is why our Diapers contain a minimal level of SAP to ensure premium performance. It's definitely an ingredient we'd like to eliminate altogether someday, but currently there are no better substitutes that don't compromise the absorbency of the diaper."

"The main reason we want to eliminate SAP altogether is that it's a synthetic component of the diaper, not that it has any serious health risks associated with it. SAP has gotten an awfully bad rap over the years, but largely from misunderstanding - the gel used in disposable diapers today is not the same as that used in super absorbent tampons, linked with toxic shock syndrome, a number of years ago. In fact, SAP has been rigorously tested and it has been concluded that it is completely safe and non-toxic. MBDC, which is the leading US-based design chemistry firm, has assessed SAP as GREEN, which is the safest assessment a chemical or material can receive."

My question to Honest was, if you are transparent in your use of SAP, then why do you tout that your diapers are FREE of petrochemical additives when they are clearly not?

While Honest may not consider the level of SAP used in its diaper to be "harsh" it is still a petrochemical and that part is coming into contact with the child's skin as the diaper gets absorbed.

So what gives with the misleading marketing? I read the"FREE OF" line that is highlighted in the Honest marketing and was happy with the product and hadn't looked into the detail in the ingredient list that had actually listed a petrochemical-based product. 

Maybe it is creative marketing and the way the word harsh is used means one thing and not another. But as a parent and customer of Honest, it makes me wonder what else is being manipulated in Honest marketing. It is slightly disappointing. I felt happy to have been able to rely on Honest to give a great product that was exactly what I was looking for.

Other non-toxic ("green") diapers use SAP as well. It seems really hard to get away from. But when looking at the marketing for Earths Best diapers, they mention that their diapers are "made with fewer petrochemicals," not FREE OF.

It's not great, but at least more accurate.

The rep from Honest went on to say this:

"We are truly sorry you felt misled by this statement. It is technically accurate that we do not use and harsh or dangerous petrochemical additives/ingredients - only ones that meet our safety standards - but we also understand your concerns.

We're always listening, and I have passed your feedback along to our team. We will be updating the language on our package later this Spring, and we will update the website accordingly as well.

We take feedback like this very seriously and always want to be clear and transparent in how we market our products. We will continue to look into how we can improve this on our diapers and other products."

I would say that, technically, despite the rep's email above, Honest does use petrochemical additive ingredients, but I suppose the use of the word "harsh" is the issue here and how it's defined is up for debate.

I will continue to use Honest diapers. The alternative for me would be cloth diapering but after looking into it for a while and doing much research, I cannot commit to making my life a little more hectic by adding more laundry to the mix. Maybe with the next babe, I will work up the courage to turn to cloth but until then, it's Honest for me.

Let's just hope Honest gets a little more honest in all aspects of its marketing!

Placenta - the good, the bad and the unknown

PLEASE prepare yourself. If you have a delicate gag reflex, do not read any further. 

Ok, I warned you. 

I ate my placenta. This is not a new phenomenon and there have been pro and anti-placenta people out there for some time. But I did it and I enjoyed it!

I didn't fry the thing up and eat like a steak. I did drink a smoothie with some raw pieces in it but the rest I had dehydrated and put into capsules. I also had a tincture made (with 100 proof vodka in it) that will last into menopause. I just need a few drops here and there to balance hormones and fight off PMS. 

I am almost done with the bottle and my daughter is only a year old. Just kidding. But really, sometimes I could use the whole bottle but a few drops on the tongue work just fine.

Maybe it's in my head, but maybe not.

Here are some fun facts about placenta, the lifeblood of your baby:

-It is loaded with vitamins like B6, B12 and iron

-The placenta draws nourishment and oxygen, which it supplies to the fetus

-It also acts as an endocrine gland, producing estrogen, progesterone, and gonadotrophin.

So why eat it? 

It is said to:

-Ward off post-partum depression

-Improve breast milk supply 

-Increase energy

-Significantly reduce post-partum bleeding

-Replenish essential hormones such as oxytocin and CRH(stress reducer) 

There was a study done at the University of Las Vegas on human placentophagy, otherwise known as mother's consuming their placenta in 2013.

Daniel Benyshek, a UNLV medical anthropologist, and Sharon Young, a doctoral student of anthropology, ran the study and found that most women who participated in the practice were American, Caucasian, married, middle class, and college-educated and were more likely to give birth at home. (I was/am ALL of the these things)

They asked 189 women who consumed their placentas after childbirth why they did it, how they preferred to have the placenta prepared, and if they would do it again. The results were published in the journal Ecology, Food and Nutrition in 2013.

Overall, 76% of participants said they had very positive experiences. The most commonly reported negative aspect of placentophagy was the placenta’s appeal — the taste or smell of it was simply kind of icky. But most reported positive experiences.

The study, which looked at 180 societies around the world, found that placenta consumption by humans other than the mother, however, has been recorded among a handful of cultures for various medicinal purposes, and it is used in some traditional Chinese remedies. In Chinese traditional medicine, however, it was the men who ingested zi he che, or dried placenta medicine, to boost their energy over 600 years ago.

While science knows much about the hormonal and nutritional components of the human placenta tissue, the study noted that almost nothing is known about the biological effects of its consumption.

Benyshek is now researching the public health implications, the likely course of placentophagy throughout human evolution, whether placentas can treat mood disorders and hormonal imbalances, and any potential risks.

He’s also analyzing the nutritional, hormonal, and chemical components of placenta in its various preparations. Benyshek has partnered with Jodi Selander, a specialist in placenta encapsulation and education in Southern Nevada. She is preparing the placentas for experiments and also helped connect the researchers with survey participants.

The placenta can be consumed cooked or raw, but most women in the survey consumed it in the easier-to-digest capsule form.

In my own experience, the pills gave me an energy boost and made me feel calmer. When I have another baby, I will do it all over again!

Teething...my check-list of natural remedies

Teething...a saga of uncontrollable screaming, yelling, crying and drooling and then there's the baby's side of it...

IT seems like my daughter has been teething since birth. And she probably has one way or another.

For some babes, it takes a while for those little chompers to pop out, for others they burst on to the scene all at once and for a select few, they are born with some teeth. While that seems odd, it's probably better for all involved that the parents (and baby) skipped over some of the teething and got it taken care of in utero.

Whenever there is an unexplained issue with my daughter it always seems to go back to teething (that's mostly because we are first time parents and don't know shit!). She got her two bottom/middle teeth when she was 8 and 9 months. Then nothing happened again until she was 12/13 months and now all four of her top front teeth are coming in at once. Oh boy!

I have been trying to figure out why all of a sudden a few months back she stopped sleeping through the night! Then I saw the swollen gums and top teeth ready to push through. She is back to making it through most of the night as those four teeth have finally all cut through. During this time, below is what I have used to help with her teething process!


1. BALTIC AMBER TEETHING NECKLACE (RAW):  the necklaces are meant to be worn against baby's skin and are not for chewing. Raw amber is an all-natural pain reliever.  It's the succinic acid, a naturally occurring component in amber that makes it so effective.

“Succinic acid is a natural pain reliever, anti-inflammatory, and a central nervous system calmer. It is so effective on babies and small children because it simultaneously eases their pain while also having a strong soothing effect on their nervous system – all with zero side effects!”

Eva has been wearing her necklace since she was 3 months old. She has never tried to pull it off, or strangle herself (i know the concerns). She really never pays any attention to it. At night, I wrap it around her ankle when she goes to sleep. It has greatly reduced her drooling and congestion from teething. We misplaced the necklace for a while, and I noticed the difference when she wasn't wearing it. Just make sure you are buying it from a reputable place and not just getting plastic, fake amber. Here are some ways to tell if it's real and tests you can do on it!


2. HYLANDS TEETHING TABLETS: this is a homoeopathic remedy and one that has worked so well for Eva. You can purchase these tablets at your local pharmacy, Target, BabiesRus, etc. The tablets temporarily relieve the symptoms of simple restlessness and wakeful irritability due to cutting teeth. Helps reduce redness and inflammation of gums. Several years back (about 4-5 years) Hylands did a voluntary recall of its products due to some reports of adverse effects from the Belladonna ingredient (its a plant whose leaf and root are used for pain relief). They have since re-formulated the ingredients. The belladonna ingredient is of concern to some parents. Just do your research. If you turn to Tylenol/Motrin more often, check out those recalls and ingredients.

3. CAMILIA: is a natural remedy that comes in a sterile single dose, liquid. I bought this at Whole Foods and used it several times. This helps with pain relief associated with teething and also helps minor digestive issues. The base of it comes from the chamomile plant, which is a natural pain reliever.

4. CLOVE OIL/ THIEVES ESSENTIAL OIL: I used this sparingly because it doesn't taste the best but does help in times of real need! It numbs the pain. I mix one drop of clove oil with a tablespoon of olive oil or coconut oil and rub on her gums. Clove oil is very strong so test on your own gums first. I used clove oil sparingly because I think it may have upset her stomach and also tastes awful. I used diluted thieves oil more. It's also strong but worked to calm her down when she was really in pain. Some people try scotch or some form of alcohol  on the gums but I found that these last longer.

5. SIMPLY SALINE: this helps to control the congestion associated with teething. Its drug-free and is sterile water and salt. I give her a couple of squirts at night. When she is really congested I use this in conjunction with the nosefrida!

6. TEQUILA: that's for us, not the baby :)

Headboard mama drama

I want something like this!

I want a new bed frame and I love upholstered headboards. Several years back the hubs and I did this redo of our headboard when we needed a bedroom lift and it worked nicely!

But the colors (and location) of our bedroom have changed and I want a new headboard with a new frame.

The process to find one that isn't filled with harmful, carcinogenic petroleum products like polyurethane and brominated flame retardants is damn near impossible!

 We are a synthetic-happy country and companies like William-Sonoma try to get the word "green" into descriptions of their products but when you call to find out more, customer service is at a loss.

Here is how the convo went:

ME: Hi, I'm calling for more information about your Hampton Headboard. The description on the website says that its part of your Green Collection but there are no details in the description of the product. It doesn't state that the fabric used or the components are organic or all natural. I am really wondering what is the stuffing made of in the upholstered headboard? What kind of foam is it?

(FROM THE WS website: This item is part of our Green Collection. Our Green Collection creates truly great design with an eco-friendly point of view. These Green products are distinguished by any one of the following characteristics: Organic, Re-cycled, Re-claimed, Sustainable.)

WS: Please hold
ME: on hold for several minutes
WS: I don't have any information that tells me what that is (i.e. the foam/filling)
ME: This says its part of  the WS Green Collection. Where is that collection because when I search your site, nothing comes up. I also Googled it and didn't find a collection either.
WS: It's really not a collection. It's part of the manufacturing process but not a collection.
ME: Ok,  but you call it a collection and it's capitalized. You should probably change the description if there is no real Green Collection. So there isn't anything that is organic or sustainable or re-claimed in it?
WS: Well....I don't know

Job well done William-Sonoma customer service! You are rockin' it!

UPDATE: I received an email from WS and the stuffing in the headboard is made of polyester. So not really "green" or all-natural or whatever they want to call it.

The other day I also called Pottery Barn to inquire about the foam filling in another headboard and the young woman on the phone told me there was no filling in the upholstered/tufted headboard. I told her, no sweetie, look at the picture, it's there.
"Oh ok. Well I can ask someone in the furniture department and can email you the answer within 7 business days," she said.
I told her to never mind because if they are not putting it out there, then it's probably not something I want touching my head every night.

Crate and Barrel comes close with a soy-based foam but the description is not totally clear since some of them descriptions also say, 'other' materials.

So the search continues...we may end up making another one ourselves. When we made our first headboard we weren't thinking about what kind of foam we put in there so I will have to find another, better material!

If you want more info on nasty chemicals and your furniture, check out this piece from the Environmental Working Group.

My medicine cabinet

WHEN I am sick, or feeling like something may be coming on, these are my go-to's for fighting whatever is lurking on the horizon.

Probiotics, Manuka honey, essential oils, organic tea
and Coconut oil (for everything else!)

I was talking to my step-mom the other day and she was fighting the flu and I told her that she would laugh at me if she saw what I do to fight off any kind of sickness!

It always starts with Manuka honey, which is a specific kind of honey from New Zealand and Australia that comes from the nectar of the manuka tree.

It has antibacterial properties (I also use in on wounds). When I am sick or feel like I am coming down with a cold, etc. I take a spoonful and swallow it. I don't add it to my tea or anything else, just straight spoonfuls. I do that several times a day.

I also use Young Living essential oils A LOT. There are many essential oils on the market, like DoTerra, but I use YL. Just make sure whatever you use is of the highest quality and purity. Not only do I use YL oils topically, what I also ingest them and they are safe for ingestion, but not all brands are so check on that!

So if I am having a chest issues like a cough, I rub RC, Raven, and  Durado Azul on my chest SEVERAL times a day. I also diffuse the oils as well all day long. I use Thieves on the bottoms of my feet and also put a drop on my tongue (it helps a sore throat like no other!) and also rub some along my glands on my neck and throat. I also use Purification on my neck and glands too.

I also have an oil called Breath Again, which is a roll-on that I use along my sinuses on my face and forehead. The key with any natural remedy is you MUST do it several times a day for it to make a difference, at least that is how it is for me.

I take probiotics regularly but amp them up when I am sick, as well as drink tons of tea!

The Coconut oil is just something I use for so many things. I cook with it, use it on my skin. I just added it in the photo bc its part of my medicine cabinet!

Do you think I am nutty yet? Well I may be, but it has worked for me time and again.

In college, I was so absolutely unhealthy and used to get bronchitis on the regular. There were tons of factors responsible for that including my poor eating habits and partying like it was 1999 (I was in college from 96-00, so the song does apply :) Since college, whenever I am getting the smallest of a cold, I am eventually on antibiotics for an infection.

But I have cleaned up my act on all fronts, including what I eat, and loads of other things in my house, like what I use to clean my house, etc. Part of my evolution was trying to avoid the use of antibiotics.

I am happy to say that following the above mentioned list of goodies,I have not been on antibiotics for more than a year and a half. That is HUGE for me because I have been sick several times but managed to handle it with my own brew of goodness.

My husband got the flu this year. When he started to feel crappy, I started taking manuka honey as a precaution. I ended up with this strange one-to-two day flu-ish thing that was nothing compared to what he had. I was militant about the oils, honey, probiotics, etc. and I avoided the plague!!

***I purchased that Manuka Honey at Fairway, although I have purchased it at Whole Foods in the past. I also bought the probiotics pictured above at Fairway (WF also has that brand). I get that huge jar of coconut oil at Costco and the tea at Fairway. The Young Living Oils can be purchased by becoming an independent distributor.

Delayed response

When we were about to embark on our IVF journey, the hubs and I decided that when it came time to put the embryos back, we would transfer two. We knew the chances of having twins were very high and we were OK with that. 

We put in two and when we went back for our first ultrasound at 6 weeks, we were pregnant with twins. One was measuring smaller than the other but, nonetheless, it was a twin pregnancy. Unfortunately, when we went back for our 8-week visit to hear the heartbeats, there was only one. The other embryo stopped growing.

Between the 6th and 8th week visits I went back to my acupuncturist, thinking she could do something to help the smaller embryo grow. I went a few times back to back. I prayed like crazy, I wished and hoped and talked to both of them, telling them to stay strong!

At the time, I felt somewhat prepared that the second embryo might not make it, based on our first visit at the doctor, and I was truly grateful that we had one viable, heart-beating foetus in there. There were so many emotions happening that I didn't fully process the loss of one. 

The doctor I saw at my 6-week appt was not my regular doctor. He treated the second, smaller embryo like it wasn't even there. It was a very cold appt with that doc, who I made sure to never see again.

I really didn't know how to process it. It was joy and loss at the same time.

But now, after having my daughter, I think about the loss more. It's a delayed reaction I suppose -- a delay in the processing of it all. Eva had a twin, but it wasn't meant to be.

With the increase in infertility nowadays and the use of assisted reproductive technology, like intrauterine insemination (UIU) and IVF, the increase in multiple births has risen greatly. (I could look up some stats here but I am not feeling it today)

Somewhere in my day I come across twins, hear about twins, etc., and the more and more I hear of impending births of twins, it stings. Not in a way that I am not happy for those with twins or those about to have them, but a sting at my loss, the one I feel like I am only just now beginning to process after all this time. I can barely even say 'miscarriage' in regards to my loss and I only talk about it to a very few people.

I have many close friends with twins, which I adore! But when I was at Fairway yesterday, shopping with Eva, a young woman told me that she had twins asleep in her car (with her husband, of course) and she was rushing through the store before they woke up. It was really cute and made me smile but I also had a strange feeling of longing. It's a weird mix.

There isn't much more to say about this except, it is what it is. I have the greatest gift and blessing in Eva and I know that everyday.

xxoo

A Fabulous Year of Love!

Near the end of 2012, I bought this ornament for our Christmas tree:

Anthony & Alison
2013 - The Best Year Yet!

We were about to become parents. Something we had wanted so badly for such a long time. I didn't want to celebrate until that baby was in my arms but I couldn't resist this ornament and I wanted to celebrate every second of my new year and best year of my life to come with my new family.

This is me on Christmas Day 2012:

And about a week and three days later in 2013 we got the best gift we could ever ask for:

Little Eva Violet 'Peanut Butter, Booba, Cakes' Ciaccio arrived. She spent 3 loooooong days coming down the pike but she came out with her eyes wide open, looking around at this new world and checking out her parents. To say this was life changing doesn't even encompass how we felt holding this little miracle. How do you explain the best thing to ever happen in your life? She was here, healthy and all ours. We didn't have to give her back!

2013 was a year of firsts, a year of total bliss and some tears along the way, ours and hers. We are responsible for this brand, new life. That's overwhelming at times. When she was a couple weeks old I pretty much thought I had already ruined her life. I can't even remember what it was about but I remember crying to my husband about it. Let's just say those first three months were a hormonal roller coaster of emotion and breastfeeding and no sleep and crazy joy and just crazy, crazy! But I loved every second. Even the seconds of pain, I was happy to be enduring and I am not just saying that with rose colored glasses. I was in those moments and was happy with every second of them! Gratitude abounds!

The year in review...in case you haven't seen enough pictures of my daughter :)








We made it through this first year and that's definitely something to celebrate. We kept her alive and she grew and did all of her cute (and smelly) baby things! Cheers to 2013 and here is to another new year ahead of more firsts and lots more joy and love. xxoo

Eva's first Christmas 2013

Reposting - The Second (and Third) Opinion...Sher Institute (SIRM)

This is worth repeating...so I shall repost! This post gets the most visits on my blog.

When I read it over again I feel like I did back in March 2010. I had hope and drive but I was also reeling from the crushing pain of getting a negative pregnancy test every month. I didn't know at that point that I would have to wait another two years until I saw two lines on a pee stick, which at that point had been going on for about three years. But that's the thing - I got to see the lines and I am forever grateful for that.

It all started because I didn't want to accept the diagnosis of unexplained infertility. I am stubborn and persistent and I wanted an answer. I thought about it all of the time, read my test results, then decided to Google "unexplained infertility and immune system." I came across Dr. Sher and SIRM. It was meant to be because at that time I was living in the Lehigh Valley, PA and it just so happened that Dr. Sher was going to be in my area within the week doing a seminar about SIRM. What are the freakin' chances??? Well, chances were good since SIRM had a NJ office that was near my place in PA :)

The post was my best attempt at explaining what I found out at the seminar, which in later years (fast forward to Dr. T in NYC) was how I became pregnant.

Enjoy!

               The Second (and Third) Opinion...Sher Institute

                                   Monday, March 29, 2010

I am going to be completely honest here. I do not trust most doctors. Yes, they have more schooling than me and know more than I do. But they are not god and they do not know everything. It doesn't mean I don't like them or respect some of them but I go into their offices knowing that they do not know it all.

I've been through two Reproductive Endocrinologist offices in the past two years and also two OBGYNs and I have pretty much gotten the same answers from all of them, which is that they don't know why I am not getting pregnant.

All the tests (for the most part) have been done on me and I have come out with no issues or abnormalities. The same goes for my husband. So what gives? 

With the diagnosis of "unexplained infertility" the doctors I have seen take a "one-size fits all" approach to infertility and just move me onto the next level of treatment. It becomes a shot in the dark for them but that isn't Ok with me because this is their "specialty" and they should know more and I am not a guinea pig.

I haven't had any treatments in 6 months and have been on a break from all of it. It's been a nice break because I've had time to calm my anxiety and just be in the moment instead of always looking one month ahead.

But over the weekend I had a chance to meet three men, one in particular who really, really impressed me with his knowledge, thoughtfulness and just general empathy for infertile couples. Up to this point, I really have not felt that way about any doctor - ever!

They were the doctors at the Sher Institute for Reproductive Medicine (SIRM). The man who started the group is Dr. Geoffrey Sher and he spoke to a room full of infertile couples on Saturday about his love of reproductive medicine and all that he knows about it.

My husband is the ultimate critic when it comes to the doctors we have met thus far and even he was  impressed.

Dr. Sher's approach is that he doesn't stop at the basic tests and he doesn't take the easy way out. He was the first to open private fertility clinics in the U.S. in the early 1980's and he studied under the men who pioneered IVF. Dr. Sher is a pioneer himself and takes to treating the cause of infertility rather than the symptom.

What I learned at this seminar is that he likely knows more about reproductive medicine than most doctors anywhere. He wasn't obnoxious about his knowledge or a "know it all" but rather he showed great compassion.

He talked about issues that you wouldn't hear your everyday RE doctor talk to you about. It is beyond some of them and sometimes people don't want to expand upon what they already do and how they treat it. But the sense you get from the doctors at SIRM is that they are always thinking ahead and beyond.

They are pushed to think outside the box and they know that not everyone is the same when it comes to infertility.

Here are some of the things I gathered from the seminar:

1. The uterus has to be receptive to the embryo for implantation and pregnancy to occur. If it is not, then continued miscarriages can occur. What this means is that if the uterus and embryo are too close genetically then the body can reject it. This is where the doctors at SIRM have pioneered tests for immune issues causing infertility. The explanation below is from Dr. Sher's fertility blog,IVFAuthority, and explains these immune issues.

There are two (2) forms of immunologic implantation dysfunction. The first and by far the most common is autoimmune implantation dysfunction. This variety is usually easily and successfully remedied through treatment with heparinoids (e.g., Lovenox, Clexane), Intralipid (IL), and corticosteroids. The second variety which is often ignored or overlooked is alloimmune implantation dysfunction.

Autoimmune implantation dysfunction is by far the most common variety. It is believed to be implicated in >90% of cases of immunologic implantation dysfunction and occurs when an immunologic reaction is produced by the individual, to his/her body’s own cellular components. Aloimmune implantation dysfunction on the other hand, arises through the reaction of the uterus to an embryo that shares certain genetic (genotypic) similarities (DQa and other HLA genes)with the recipient’s uterus causing immune cells known as natural killer (NK) cells that populate the uterine lining, to start over-producing “ toxins” known as TH-1 cytokines (TNFa and Interferon gamma). Such activated NK cells (NKa+) attack the cells of the embryo’s “root system” (the trophoblast) damaging it and so compromising implantation. Alloimmune implantation dysfunction, while far less common than the autoimmune variety is considerably more complex, much more poorly understood (even by most RE’s) and far more difficult to treat successfully. It involves a reaction by an otherwise normal uterus to the intrusion of one or more embryos that through the contribution of sperm DNA share certain immunogenetic (genotypic) similarities with the recipient.

2. This issue that arises when the uterus and embryo are too close in generic makeup leads to a "natural killer cell" issue. The good news is that in most cases this issue can be resolved with medication called Intralipid.

3. There are tests that can easily be done to find the natural killers cells and to see if you are and your partner are a DQ match. The excerpt below is from Dr. Sher's blog:

For some reason, there is a tendency to consider all couples with alloimmune implantation dysfunction (who share DQa similarities) to be incapable of achieving a viable full term pregnancy. Nothing could be further from the truth.

Let me explain: Each individual has two (DQa’s), one is derived from their mother and the other from their father. The fact that many individuals carry identical DQa's (i.e. both are the same), of necessity means their parents must of necessity have had “matching” DQa’s and yet they were born healthy and normal. The reason is that it is not the “matching” DQa that matters. It is whether upon arriving in the uterus, a DQa “matching” embryo encounters activated uterine natural killer cells (NKa+). These NKa+ release large amounts of TH-1 cytokines that attack and damage the cells of the embryo’s “root system” (trophoblast).It is the extent of such trophoblastic damage that will determine whether such an embryo will immediately “die on the vine” (implantation failure) or “limp along” for some time only to be aborted a few weeks later.

4. The SIRM doesn't just accept an "unexplained" reason for you not getting pregnant. This was the biggest factor that made me get up at the seminar and make an appt to see Dr. Peters (one of the docs at the Lehigh Valley office) tomorrow (March 30). Read below for Dr. Sher's insight:

Unexplained Infertility: True Diagnosis or Cop Out?

For about 10% of all infertile couples, the cause of the infertility cannot be readily determined using conventional diagnostic methods. Such cases are often referred to as "unexplained infertility." The truth, however, is that in most such cases, this diagnosis is in fact “presumptive” because a more in-depth evaluation would have revealed a cause.

I feel very strongly that most RE doctor's are not really looking at individual patients and their needs and are just trying what they can because it may have worked for someone else. Many patients go to the Sher Institute because they have exhausted all other possibilities. They specialize in IVF but don't be deterred if you are not at the point yet, emotionally or financially.

I am going into my appt tomorrow with an open mind. This may or may not be the answer for me but at least I am following my gut to a place where I might get more answers.

Even if you are happy with your current RE - take a look at Dr. Sher's blog. It is a wealth of knowledge and insight and you can search for any topic. 

Breastfeeding is a mindF#&K!!

I am 19 weeks into motherhood and it's been crazy!!! Crazy good, crazy awesome, crazy-i-think-i-will-lose-my-mind-soon. Just crazy crazy. Just like my sweet little peanut, I too can cry and laugh all in the same breath. That's what raging hormones on a roller coaster mixed with a lack of sleep mixed with breastfeeding will do to you.

We will all have different experiences as mothers and this is just mine but seriously, who would have thought breastfeeding - one of the most natural things a woman can do - would be so damn complicated, thus the title of this blog post.

For the first three months of Eva's life I nursed her every hour. I would be sitting on the chair in my living room when my husband left for work in the morning and still be there when he got home. I barely made it to the bathroom or ate. Thank god my mom was here for a week feeding me and doing my laundry. And if my mother in law also didn't make food for us, I would have just gnawed on my arm.

And the pain was awesome too, well no, not really. I saw stars when Eva would latch, like in cartoons when a character gets hit over the head. I saw them and they sucked. My husband likely thought I was an uncontrollable lunatic during that time. I wonder if he thought he was ever going to get his normal wife back.

But alas, I finally called someone to help me. I waited so long because I thought it was supposed to hurt and you were not supposed to sleep or get a break and that was just how my baby was. WRONG!!

I called a lactation counselor/postpartum doula who saved me (and my nipples)! Little Miss Eva was tongue-tied which means her tongue movement was restricted due to an attached frenulum (that skin under your tongue). In other words, her latch wasn't great and she was working overtime to get milk because her suck was lacking.

When my LC, Kathy Koncelik, came to my house and found Eva's tongue-tie it was as if the darkness had been lifted and I was reborn. There was hope and breastfeeding didn't have to be do damn painful, which it is not supposed to be at that point!

Needless to say, we had the issue fixed with a quick snip of the frenulum by a lovely doctor in NYC and Eva was latching and nursing like a champ! It wasn't all rainbows and unicorns after that...there were still times when I continued to doubt my supply and that constant question of "was she getting enough??" still lurked in the background. But after Eva gained a pound in 10 days I knew things were working out. Also I have no more pain in the nips! Yahoooooo!!!

This isn't me but I love this pic!

Here is what I would do differently. Call a lactation consultant/postpartum doula from DAY 1. After that baby pops out, have an LC at your house when you get home or when your milk comes in. IT IS SO WORTH IT!!!

I am stubborn and also I hate quitting or giving up on anything. So breastfeeding became a mindf&*K because I wanted to continue so badly but the pain and constant nursing was weighing on me. I remember at the time saying to my husband that breastfeeding was the hardest thing I had ever gone through in my life. I was really down in the dumps.

My sister in law who gave birth five weeks before I did had other issues with bfeeding. Her supply was too much and my niece was choking and spitting up and it was just a mess. Then when she went back to work and tried to pump she got barely anything. She changed from an electric pump to a hand pump and that has worked out for her but not before she lost her mind in the process.

Thankfully we both have our minds back (well partially anyway) and breastfeeding is moving forward. During some of our dark hours we would talk about calling it quits and going to formula but both of us are determined women so if we had to pump extra for each other for the next 6 months to make sure both of our babies were breastfed, we would do it. That's mommy drive for ya!

Eva Violet has arrived!!

Well between my last post and now, I am sure you assumed that I had the baby and no, I am not a month late :)

Eva Violet at just a few minutes old! 

My little miracle baby decided she wanted to arrive five days before her due date then at the last minute thought that she should take her good old time making her way down that birth canal. So some 72 hours after my contractions started, little missy was born. Not in the way I had (fully) hoped but she was born healthy and happy and that is all that counts!

So here is the birth story: My contractions started on Wednesday, January 2 at midnight and continued throughout the night at 15 minute intervals. We waited until the morning to check-in with my midwife and doula. I was prepared for a home birth and had everything set! My midwife and doula arrived at my house Wednesday evening and I was dialating and my contractions were closer together and much stronger.

I labored all over my house...in the kitchen, in my living room hunched over furniture. On a birthing ball, on the toilet and in a kiddie pool in my living room. We really thought we were getting close and by around 2 am on Thursday we thought she was coming out soon. I got into the pool and I guess it was just too soothing bc the contractions slowed and not much happened. About 90 minutes later I was out of the pool and still in labor but no baby yet. She was making mommy work!

At some point in the early morning hours I got back into the pool but still nothing was moving forward. Things seemed to be stuck. All was fine with both our vitals so we continued to try other things. I laid in bed for a while and got a  little rest. Then I was back up swaying from side to side in my kitchen...saying "down and out" over and over again. I was using my hypnosis that learned from Hypnobabies throughout all of it. I was in the "off" position or "center" and really working on pointing the anesthesia where it needed to go! I was all about the "peace" cue and that got me through a lot of it.

I was also listening to the Hypnobabies recordings...fear-clearing, deepening, birthing affirmations and pushing the baby out. But this particular baby did not want to come out just yet. But I didn't want to give up on my hope for a home birth. So I got a second, third and fourth wind and pushed through. I was determined to make this work.

The rest of the day on Thursday just sucked but I did whatever I had to to get this baby down and out! But she had other plans and it did not involve a home birth. So by Thursday night, after my water had been broken for more than 12 hours and I was actually regressing (went from 8 centimeters back to 5-6) we had to make the decision to transfer to the hospital. I was dehydrated and hadn't slept in two days and after two days of labor without pain meds, you could say I was beat.

I was still having strong contractions about every 2-5 minutes so off to the hospital we went!! I was lucky to be going to the hospital with the lowest C-section rate on Long Island. I met another midwife there and she was awesome! They got me into a room right away and then an epidural and then I was in La-La land. I needed to sleep and rest and that is what I did for the next 24 hours. Yes, that's right. I still had to wait another 24 hours for this little petunia to be born!

So while resting all day Friday I dilated and was all ready to push by Friday night. Two hours of pushing and little miss cone-head was born at 9:47 p.m. She is just perfect and still is!!

There is a part of me that is disappointed that my home birth didn't happen and that i ended up at the hospital doing the things I didn't want to do. But it's a small part that gets smaller everyday and is trumped by the fact that I am lucky enough to have this beautiful, precious baby girl in my life.

Full term

Well...I've made it to 37 weeks and its astounding that I am here. By this time, woman are considered full-term, which means this baby's organs should be fully developed and ready for the outside world. So look out world, this baby is getting ready to arrive!

My baby belly with my newest niece hanging out!

The anxiety is building...I am excited and scared and happy all at the same time. Most of all, I am beyond grateful. I can honestly say that a moment has not passed during this entire pregnancy that I have not felt grateful. It's the one constant. I know the hard choices women make going through infertility  I've seen it first hand with my friends. I haven't had to go beyond one IVF and that makes me beyond grateful. I am humbled. I will never look at pregnancy, children, parenthood or infertility the way I did before we ventured into this territory more than five years ago. I will never forget what I have learned about myself, the strength of the amazing women I know and how inspired I will always be by all of them!

Today when I hit 37 weeks, I sent a text to my hubs letting him know that our baby is the size of a Swiss chard. I asked him if he ever thought we would get to this place? I think he is going to miss my big belly.

I haven't written in so long...time really flew by. I had the most amazing baby shower that was so filled with love and goodness that I want to relive it all of the time. It was one of the best days I've had. The generosity of my family and friends was astounding and just how much it meant was beyond words.

I hope to pass all that goodness onto to my next friend who is expecting a baby!

As for now, I am totally focused on the birth. It will be at home where we will be surrounded by women who have supported our birth plan from day one and have been wonderful - my midwife and doula. I am working hard on my hypnosis...and am feeling confident about it. Hypnobabies was one the best choices we made along the way of having a natural childbirth.

Our classes were taught by the amazing Lesley Levine from Hypnobliss Birth. I cannot wait to put it all into action!

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day

And October 15 is a special day...it is a day to remember, to love, to cherish. It is Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day.

The day is observed with remembrance ceremonies and candle-lighting vigils, concluding with the International Wave of Light, a worldwide lighting of candles at 7:00 p.m. (in all time zones). Even if you have not experienced this type of loss first hand, I am sure you know someone who has.

So light a candle for all of those angels and their loving parents!

If you have children, hold them a little closer and let your gratitute for those miracles fill you up and spillover to others. If you have experienced loss, know you are strong and your angels are watching over you. xxoo

The birth plan...diving on in

I have been planning this for years and it's so great to see it all coming together!! I always wanted to go with a midwife and try my best for an au-naturel birth. So that is our plan and we are sticking to it.

My nephew was born at home with a midwife and as my sister-in-law tells it, it was a wonderful and amazing experience that trumped her previous two births in a hospital setting. I wrote about that almost two years ago on this blog and also about the documentary, The Business of Being Born, check it out if you haven't already. You can read that post here.

The hubby and I were all set to do a waterbirth at a hospital with our midwife but the more we talked about it the more we wanted to do it at home. So we changed the plans and Baby C will be delivered in my living room, or bedroom :) We will get a big tub/pool and do it all at home. I am super psyched!!!

I actually feel like a weight has been lifted. I won't have to stress about when to go to the hospital and mess up the good flow I will have at home with my doula. I am also excited about my doula...we all clicked when we met with her. We knew she was the one.

Water has long been used to ease the discomforts of labor and by using a midwife where you are not strapped to a bed and hooked up to machines and can walk around and eat, etc, women can tune into what their bodies need and allow the powerful birthing energies to flow, while keeping the non-productive stress hormones to a minimum.

Waterbirths allow a woman to dialite more quickly, which can result in a shorter labor.


By using a midwife, the C-section rate is drastically reduced as well as rates of episiotomy and the need for interventions.

I am under no illusion that this will be a painless experience but I am confident that doing it this way is the best way for me. Our bodies are made for this and there is no way I wanted to be rushed during this process and have a doctor push induction or a C-section just so they can get home faster. I am confident that my body knows what to do and how.

The hubby and I are also taking a hypnobabies class starting in Sept -- it's hypnosis for childbirth.

There are two hypnosis-style birthing classes. One is the traditional hypnobirthing and the other is hypnobabies, which uses hypnobirthing techniques and tweaks it into a more comprehensive class. I decided on that one and am pumped to start the classes.

20 weeks and counting...and shout out to Dr. T & Sher Institute

We have made it to the half-way point. It is just incredible. 20 weeks!! Whoo-hooo!!

I doubted so many times that I would ever get to this place in my life and I take none of it for granted. I know I say that over and over again but I truly truly know how lucky I am to be experiencing all of this.

I still ache for the women I know who are still on a journey and those who are facing extremely hard pregnancies with tough decisions to make that no one should ever have to. My heart goes out to all of them.

But I am also basking in the joy of getting to 20 weeks and seeing our baby growing up (in the womb) and making it all real....here is Baby C at 20 weeks!! Look at those lips :)

I cannot wait to meet this baby! I feel him/her kick all of the time and although sometimes it seems alien-like, it is way cool.

Another thing that happened this week is we officially graduated from the fertility doctor. Since part of my treatment involved intralipids (IVs up until 20 weeks of pregnancy) I was still going to see all the awesome peeps at Sher Institute in NYC. I was excited to get the last of the IVs over with and to say "a bientot" to Dr. T. It's just a "see-ya" later...not a goodbye. I will visit again and always look forward to seeing all those smiling faces.

I am a cheerleader for Dr. T, so if anyone ever asks, I will always recommend him. Several women in my inferility support group are also patients of his (or will be soon). So far, two of us who have done IVFs with him have been successful and I know there are more to come!!! Here is the best thing about Sher Institite and Dr. T -- it is not a factory where you are treated with the same protocol as every other patient who walks through the door. It is indiviualized and well worth it to make the trip into the city if you are not already living there.

I had such a great experience there from my first visit until my last IV appt. It was seamless and easy and wonderful. I couldn't have asked for a better experience. So thank you, Dr. T, Voula, Jocelyn, Jackie, Frances, Sylvia, Michelle, Yari and Jessica!!! You all rock!!





Dr Tortoriello and another one of his miracles!







Yari and Michelle always smiling at the front desk!





Frances and Jackie...such sweeties!!



Six down...two to go

I feel like I am hitting some milestones all the time and it just makes me smile!

As I type this (with just my left hand on an IPhone) I am sitting at Sher in NYC getting my intralipid on and I am 12 weeks along today!! Whooo-hooo!

I've done six of these IV intralipid therapies already (two before I got pregnant) and the rest after. Each one takes about 2 hours.

This treatment is one of the main reasons I found Sher and am a patient here today! The other REs I went to wouldn't even discuss immune issues as a possibility.

I tested positive for high Natural Killer cells, which is an immune disorder that keeps an embryo from attaching to the uterus.

Up until that point I was just "unexplained" with no direction. Being able to get tested and treated for this was a relief.

If you want to read more about immunological disorders and infertility, check out this article by Dr. Sher.

IVIG & Intralipid Therapy in IVF: Interpreting Natural Killer Cell Activity for Diagnosis and Treatment

http://haveababy.com/fertility-information/ivf-authority/ivig-intralipid-therapy-in-ivf/

If you can attend an informational event in your area about this issue, go and ask lots of questions!!

Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye...

I said adiós to my progesterone shots on Sunday. I won't go into the loathing and all that...I am looking ahead to days where I won't have a black and blue bum :)

The last one didn't even hurt in the least. I barely felt it...maybe it was mind over matter :) Well I am glad that finally kicked in on the last one.

It feels freeing to be done with the injections and the suppositories as well. It's also a milestone...I am more than 10 weeks along and am really starting to have to accept this...realize this is REAL, and the IVF worked.

I remember during my sister-in-law's third pregnancy a couple of years ago I was sitting with her at my in-law's house and felt her belly and my little nephew kicking. It brought tears to my eyes and I worried that I would never get to that place and get to experience that.

I know full well how lucky I am at this moment.

It is strange being on this "side" in a way, you are leaving behind (sort of) this world of infertility that you became accustomed to...one that you wore like a badge/weight/armour/with sadness/with hope. I am still part of this "sisterhood" and I have many sisters who are still on this journey.

I want so so bad to pull them to side and make all the worry and pain go away. I wish I could fix all of their problems.

What I can do is let them know I am here for them 100%, I will pick them up when they fall, I will listen to their pain and sadness and worry and venting at any time. I am also here to offer hope that YOU CAN DO THIS! You can get through it and make your dreams come true.

Hand it over to your higher power...they make things happen, they give you faith, they take the weight off of your back. I want to say to all my "Panera Girls" that you are in my thoughts and prayers everyday and that we are all on this journey together!!

If you reading this and feel alone and that you have no one else to talk to, one of the best decisions I ever made was to find a support group of women who were dealing with the same struggle I was. I can't stress it enough how much it helps!

The National Infertility Association, Resolve, can help you find a group in your area. Check it out here.

Lucky bracelets...

My mom makes the coolest jewelry and when she made me a chakra bracelet, I never took it off. It was a multi-color one that covered all of the chakras from my root to my crown. Then I wanted to target one area...and you know what it is....my navel/sacral chakra that covers fertility. It's orange and I wore that one all of the time too.

It was a reminder to keep going, be positive, not give up and it had good energy of course! In addition to the orange chakra bracelets, rubies, moonstones and rose quartz all promote fertility. There is definitely good energy coming from those stones!

I get asked a lot about the bracelets I wear so I wanted to put it out there if anyone wanted one...here are some of the ones that are available (although anything can be made to order)...all real semi-precious stones with sterling silver.

From the left: two ruby bracelets (yes, they are real),
two orange chakra bracelets made from carnelian,
and two rose quartz bracelets.

The prices range from $40-$65...drop me an email if you are interested! fertilegroundblog@gmail.com