There goes the safety net....(sort of)

So I was flying high...had 20 eggs retrieved, 13 matured, 12 fertilized and 2 transferred. I thought I would have an arsenal left over of 10 embryos to freeze but today Dr. T told me that only 2 made it to freeze. The others didn't make it to the expanded blastocyst stage and were therefore not freezable.

I was a little bummed but at least I still have 2 to work with and I am grateful for that. Dr. T did say that what I got is pretty good and that most IVF cycles don't get more than that!

For now, I am pulling for these tiny little Grade A's that are hopefully working to attach deeper into my uterine lining and beginning implantation.

The crazy part is that the medium I went to in March told me she saw 4...and I thought she was nuts. I think I said something like "well I hope not!" thinking she meant I would only get 4 eggs retrieved. Turns out she was right about the 4...we transferred 2 and now have 2 frozen...that's the second thing that has come up since our reading that came true.

She said there are two kids "waiting to come" and they are very close...so we shall see how close.

I am in the waiting part of this cycle and its truly strange...I feel sort of relieved to be at this point but also anxiety filled. I try to keep the negative thoughts out....I even asked myself, can it be this easy? Could I be one of the lucky ones that IVF works the first time?

It's a strange thing to ask since going through IVF isn't easy at all but I know women that have gone through more. If I were to pose this question to my friends and family who haven't had any fertility issues, they would think I was nuts for asking if it can be this easy.

But I still wonder, have I done enough? Have I worked hard enough at this? These are the annoying questions I ask myself and the ones I want to keep at bay too. I tried hard this month to keep my chin up and be grateful every step of the way...sometimes these thoughts just creep in.

But I still do feel positive about this cycle...I am 3dpt and I feel good. It's Friday...I will sleep in tomorrow and do whatever I please and hang out with friends and just have fun.

Have a good weekend fertile readers!!
xoxo

Gratefullness, polyps and more....

Love life and it will love you back....

I recently had a chalk board put into my kitchen...my awesome husband bought chalkboard paint and cut some nice molding and make a lovely place for me (and him) to write whatever we like. The quote above has been on the board for a week or so and I have been feeling the love big time. Not just how much I get but in what I also give out.

I am a few weeks into my first IVF cycle and things are going well....no major side effects with the injections or steroids. I went for my first intralipid IV at SIRM in NYC yesterday. It was painless and calm and I just read my book for two hours.

That's my HUGE hand in the front :)

I was happy and not scared or worried...just grateful. It really overwhelmed me. I was grateful that I could be in a position to get the care I need with a doctor I trust with caring and knowledgeable nurses. I was grateful that my insurance is picking up the cost of many things and I can afford to get a treatment like intralipids.

I definitely wasn't in a place of "why me?" It never crossed my mind. I am just happy and grateful to be able to get excellent treatment and have a family sometime soon! I am also extremely grateful for the tremendous support system I have from my family and friends, especially my "Panera Girls" :)

I feel calm and collected and as cool as a cucumber. I do know that might change as I move along in this month and have more hormone injections but for now, since I love being in this moment, I am loving it big time.

Last week, I had to do a saline sonogram, which is required before doing the IVF. My doc, Dr. Tortoriello at SIRM, found a couple of polpys in my uterus. This was surprising and something I have never been checked for before...so needless to say, I am not sure how long then have been hanging around.

I had a hysteroscopy a few days later to remove the polyps...Dr. T said they were large and hanging there like a chandelier. He used a teeny-tiny scissors to snip them off. I woke up in recovery and was really cramping but overall I bounced back quickly and feel great today.

I had asked if this was the cause of my infertility (even though I know it would be hard to answer) and Dr. T said pretty much that, it's hard to say but could be a contributor.

Even still, I am happy that my uterus is a clean and happy place now...and all ready for baby!!

Feelin' Groovy

Some days are just better than others and that goes for anyone dealing with life in general! Today is a good day. Just wanted to share that since a lot of times this blog could be depressing and whiny at times :)

Although its rainy and glum outside in NYC, I am feeling like sunshine on the inside. Some days just fall into place and it feels good. I am finally coming out of the fog of being sick with whatever is going around my office/the train and that's always a good thing.

In addition to being sick last week, we almost lost one of our cats. Poor little Gatsby was in heart failure but has made it through and is back to his old self! Also my husband just sent me a text to say that he cleaned the house and, after regaining consciousness, I am elated to head home to a clean house!

So I would like to send you all a happy message of love and hope and happiness this evening (and all days for that matter)!

Just want to share this with you  from Cute Things Falling Asleep...if we only could all be this relaxed!