Na Na Na Na Hey Hey Hey Goodbye...

I said adiós to my progesterone shots on Sunday. I won't go into the loathing and all that...I am looking ahead to days where I won't have a black and blue bum :)

The last one didn't even hurt in the least. I barely felt it...maybe it was mind over matter :) Well I am glad that finally kicked in on the last one.

It feels freeing to be done with the injections and the suppositories as well. It's also a milestone...I am more than 10 weeks along and am really starting to have to accept this...realize this is REAL, and the IVF worked.

I remember during my sister-in-law's third pregnancy a couple of years ago I was sitting with her at my in-law's house and felt her belly and my little nephew kicking. It brought tears to my eyes and I worried that I would never get to that place and get to experience that.

I know full well how lucky I am at this moment.

It is strange being on this "side" in a way, you are leaving behind (sort of) this world of infertility that you became accustomed to...one that you wore like a badge/weight/armour/with sadness/with hope. I am still part of this "sisterhood" and I have many sisters who are still on this journey.

I want so so bad to pull them to side and make all the worry and pain go away. I wish I could fix all of their problems.

What I can do is let them know I am here for them 100%, I will pick them up when they fall, I will listen to their pain and sadness and worry and venting at any time. I am also here to offer hope that YOU CAN DO THIS! You can get through it and make your dreams come true.

Hand it over to your higher power...they make things happen, they give you faith, they take the weight off of your back. I want to say to all my "Panera Girls" that you are in my thoughts and prayers everyday and that we are all on this journey together!!

If you reading this and feel alone and that you have no one else to talk to, one of the best decisions I ever made was to find a support group of women who were dealing with the same struggle I was. I can't stress it enough how much it helps!

The National Infertility Association, Resolve, can help you find a group in your area. Check it out here.

Progesterone...my IVF nemesis

I have been stressing since the start of this IVF cycle about doing intra-muscular shots like progesterone. It's kept me up at night and made me sweat when I thought about it.

Well ladies and gents, it is here...the time to do the shot in my bum...and grin and bear it! On the positive side, doing the shots means that I am that much closer to moving forward with this cycle and I am always excited about that!

But still, all I could think about was this GIANT needle that had to go into my upper/outer butt quadrant. I was picturing it going in and through muscle and tissue and how I was going to be screaming with pain.

It was my nemesis.

At it turns out, the needle part wasn't as bad as I thought. I was laying on the bed with my head in a pillow ready to cry but it was way worse in my head!

Actually, the real pain in the butt comes AFTER the shot where it feels like a big old bruise. I've only done one so far but I can image where this is going...hopefully my husband will not forget about these shots and smack my bum in a way that was once cute but could now spark WWIII.

One thing I have figured out from all of this is that the sight of any needle that I know is meant for me makes my stomach do backflips and sends me running to the loo. So if I have a problem going to the loo...well then all I need to do is look at a needle and I am all set and regular again :)