Hurry Up and Wait...

I like instant gratification and my patience has been wearing thin on this whole baby thing. So when I went to see my doctor today and he laid out a plan for me and my hubby, I was hopeful again.

We have been on an extended break from trying to get pregnant (with the help of a doctor anyway). But it was time to revisit the doctor and it was interesting. I've done a few immunity tests recently and some flags were raised about my immunity and what role that is playing in my trouble conceiving. So at least I got some answers instead of the same old "unexplained" one.

But back to my instant gratification issues....I am ready to plow ahead with the doctors orders. But our life (the hubby and me) is a little crazy at the moment...moving to another state, working on contract without benefits, good insurance plan running out next month, owning a Mini Cooper with virtually no back seat for a baby....yada yada yada.

I know the smart thing to do is wait...save some money...plan it out better and wait a few more months. I would really have to rush and get things moving if June was a month to start it all. But I want it all and I want it NOW.

My husband was the voice of reason today and although I snapped at him like a kid being told I couldn't have something (sorry baby!), he was right.

So I am back on the wagon (or off) not sure if the wagon would be the one with fertility drugs in the trunk...in any case, I am back on the break after momentarily thinking I was no longer on a break while in a card store today.

Recently I told a friend (who holds a special place in my heart) that the thought of "what if I never get pregnant" has been creeping into my mind lately. But at least now the thought leaves my head faster. She has the same thoughts too and the same reaction but also wondered if it was more about her giving up in some way. It's incredible how this process makes you really question yourself.

So I am sending a big F-U to the fertility gods today.....can you help a homie out please????

Throw some fertile eggs, etc OUR way please.

I don't think there are too many people more dedicated and motivated than those of us trying to have babies. It just becomes exhausting. So if you are reading this and feel discouraged, just keep your chin up! Know you are not the only one on this roller coaster ride although I would like to get off of it in the next year or so :)

One great thing I learned from yoga meditation is that when thoughts enter your head just recognize them and then let them float by. Thoughts don't define you or your life and are not a crystal ball into the future.

So let it float by.....and have some fun this weekend! I've been requested to make jello shots for a party this weekend (I know what you are thinking and yes, people still make them who are not in college). So I will be walking around with a blue tongue...which I will be sticking out at those damn fertility gods this weekend!

Summer is here!!!! Check your Sunscreen

As I sit here writing this, there is a good old-fashioned crazy thunderstorm hitting my area. The kind that only happens when its humid and hot in the summertime. In a few short weeks I will be leaving the country-side of PA and heading back to Long Island. The storms on LI are good but the ones in PA (when you live on 17-acres with no one else around) are something else!!

But I digress....my point today, my beloved blog readers, is that summer is here and it's that time when we head to the beach and slop on tons of sunscreen (well most of us anyway) and try to get a tan without burning. You may have been hearing the news lately about the damage that sunscreen - which is supposed to protect you - is now doing to us.

This just hit my inbox today from the Environmental Working Group. It is a list of the best and worst of the sunscreens on the market and it is worth taking the time to look at.

Of the 500 beach and sports sunscreens that EWG analyzed for our 2010 Sunscreen Guide, we can only recommend 8 percent. Between the false sense of security from sunscreens with an SPF of 50 or higher, and new data linking vitamin A to accelerated development of skin tumors and lesions, most products don't live up to their hype. In fact, EWG found that wearing a hat and shirt in the sun should be your first line of defense, then using an EWG recommended sunscreen.

The EWG has compiled a list of the "top-rated" sunscreens and the "hall of shame."  I looked at the hall of shame and I own some of them. But since they are known as "hormone disruptors" they are hitting the bottom of my trash can now!

I urge you all to do the same. Take a look, see if you own any of these and see it as an opportunity to lessen your load and clean out your cabinet.

We don't want any hormones being disrupted so you know what to do next! Check out the list of safe ones and head to the store before the holiday weekend to get some.

If you think your store won't carry it, trying DrugStore.com They have a lot of good products.

So have some really, really safe fun in the sun this weekend. Remember, your skin is the largest organ in your body so be nice to it and treat it well.

And as an FYI about the EWG:

The mission of the Environmental Working Group (EWG) is to use the power of public information to protect public health and the environment. EWG is a 501(c)(3) non-profit organization, founded in 1993 by Ken Cook and Richard Wiles.

Here is a link to info about the EWG's funding and where it comes from: http://www.ewg.org/about/funding

FOR REAL.....

To all of my readers....most of you know me personally so this isn't directed towards you but to any others who happen to come upon this site for information or anything else, I just wanted to ensure you that this is my first-person account of everything related to my experience with infertility.

One commenter recently questioned the validity of this blog...suggesting that it's a scam and was run by the Sher Institute for Reproductive Medicine (SIRM). I just wanted to assure you that it is not run by SIRM in any way and it is just my account of MY experiences.

If you have any questions about that, just send me an email at Fertilegroundblog@gmail.com

Thanks for reading!

LeeCee
xoxo

The hubby & me at our June 2005 wedding in Easton, Pa!