Try and then Try Again...

I played sports in high school and didn't realize how much I liked to win until I started running for the girls’ track team. I was a sprinter and hurdler and once I knew I could beat most of my opponents I LOVED the feeling of competition and winning. I had a need for speed and I didn't know I really had it in me until I started to win. My heart was pounding out of my chest when I was on the starting line waiting for the gun to go off. Take Your Mark, Set, Bam!!! My goal was first off the line and first through the finish line. It was exhilarating.

It’s strange how emotions and the fire within translate to other races or obstacles in your life.

I hate the word “infertility.” I don’t like to say it and most times I never do – not even to myself. I am not accepting what it means and I am not going to let it beat me. I feel that same fire to win and beat “this” as I did when I was 16 and running the 300 meter hurdles.

I just started reading “The TAO of Fertility” By Doashing Ni and Dana Herko. (Tao means The Way). I’ve only gotten through the prologue and I felt jittery in my chair reading Dana’s words:

“I was willing to believe in anything that would result in a real, live baby. The African Fertility god sculpture sent by a well-meaning friend, the St. Anthony medal from my church in New York…I was armed and ready for a miracle. But Chinese medicine? I wasn’t sure I was ready to make that journey because, to put it bluntly, I was worn down and flat-out exhausted from trying to get pregnant.”

Just reading that I could feel the exhaustion in my heart and mind. I too have the St. Anthony medal and a St. Gerard one as well. I have something that touched a Padre Pio relic, prayers to say from other saints, a fertility candle, a lingam stone from the Narmada River in India, a fertility bracelet, the list goes on and on.

I almost stopped reading. But I didn’t.

Dana writes about how, at the end of her line of failed IVF and adoption attempts, she tried Chinese medicine. Her three months turned into nine years and for her, two children.

“I have first-hand proof that Chinese medicine can really work when other paths to fertility seem too hard to travel. I know how fortunate I am. I also know how I felt when, at my most despairing; I read yet another book about a fertility-challenged woman having a baby. Even though I came away with hope a small part of me always thought, easy for her to say – she has children.”

I am going with the hope I always carry with me– something I cannot let go of because in the end I want the exhilaration of having a child and knowing I didn’t give up.

“Every time I thought of giving up, I tried to imagine how I would feel years later. If it turned out I was unable to have children, could I honestly tell myself that I had done all that I could?”

Well said Dana.

Here's to all the ladies reading this...stick with it and don't give up hope!

Getting To The Point

As I mentioned in the previous post, I've taken the acupuncture route. Twice a week for an hour and it wasn't cheap but I did it for three months. I didn’t get the end result I had hoped for but I learned some things and maybe it will work for someone else.


Acupuncture is based in the Chinese belief that a balance in the energy flow (known as qi and chi) through the body is needed in order to stay healthy. When a blockage or imbalance occurs in that flow, your health is negatively impacted. There are 20 major pathways that qi is believed to travel along. These pathways, or meridians, are accessible through 400 different acupuncture points.

Acupuncture has the potential effect of improving ovarian and follicular function. Additionally, it is shown that acupuncture can increase blood flow to the endometrium, helping to facilitate a thick, rich lining.

Ming Ming was my lady and I liked her a lot. She put me on some herbs that were pure nastiness but I followed her instructions.

I don’t exactly remember what it does but I know the Cordyceps Sinensis (in the large yellow and white bottle) is essentially a fungus. It thrives at high altitudes and is usually found in the mountain ranges of Tibet, Nepal and some parts of China. Closely related to, but not quite a mushroom. It is highly prized by the Emperors of China for its restorative and energizing properties.

Although it has a long history of medicinal use in traditional Chinese medicine, Cordyceps Sinensis is also gaining wide recognition in western medicine, with a whole library of clinical studies published on its powers. It does tastes like a mushroom. It is a powder that I mixed with tea or soup.

The large green and white bottle is Si Wu Tang and it enriches the blood and regulates menstruation. That is a dark brown powder that I mixed with water and just swallowed - not a good taste either.

The smaller green and white bottle is little tiny black balls (they look like BB's) called Jia Wei Xiao Yao Wan and that is a commonly used herbal remedy for anxiety, irritability, stress, and depression due to the challenge of a daily life or premenstrual tension. Ming told me they were "happy pills" and I should take 10 of them 2 times a day.

She also gave me some Female Libido Tonic...since she knows that trying to conceive can be tough on the sex-life as in "let's get this over with."

I stopped the acupuncture treatments partly because I wanted to take a break from trying to get pregnant and the other one was money. Ming told me to keep taking the herbs even though I wasn't going to see her anymore. I didn't but I think I may start again. She also suggested putting progesterone cream on the days before ovulation.

You can read more about progesterone cream here.

Click here for more info on acupuncture and fertility from the American Pregnancy Association.

Inconceivable

What a strange journey this has been...trying not to get pregnant for most of my 20's and then when you want it to happen...fuggetaboutit, as Donnie Brasco and a bunch of guidos would say.

It has been 2 years and 8 months of trying....some months I have completely not cared and some months I've taken my temp every morning and did all the ovulation tests and choked down supplements and Chinese herbs.

But sometimes things will happen only when they are supposed to - although that is a hard one to swallow too. The stars and the universe have to align for some people....for others it happens when they least expect.

I've been through weird ups and downs with all of this and last year was pretty nasty. December 2009 was very very tough and it just got worse from there. The summer, as I called it, was the summer of depression. But if you are reading this and know what I am talking about I can assure you that things do get better.

You reach a point when you just accept how you are feeling and where you are at the moment. It is not about giving up hope; it's about being in the now and just living for the day. I was barely getting through important moments in my friends' lives and my own life because the only thing on my mind was getting pregnant and why it wasn’t happening for me.

"Love, joy, and peace cannot flourish until you have freed yourself from mind dominance" -Eckhart Tolle

But you come to a point when the wave feels less like it's drowning you and pulling you down and more like it's moving you forward. That is not to say there are not little meltdowns and freak outs but they happen less and you get over it faster.

There are stories that give you hope and while every story may not always be like your own, it helps to know someone else is going through it because I never really talk to anyone else who is going through this...it is just not talked about.

My mom bought me a book called "Inconceivable: A Woman's Triumph over Despair and Statistics" last year and it was pretty interesting. It is about a woman who was trying to have a second baby and was told that her numbers (hormone, etc) were too far off and she would never conceive again.

She didn’t accept it and took the alternative route of acupuncture and Chinese herbs among other things. It worked for her and that always gives me hope!

I set off on my own acupuncture experience and although it hasn't worked for me, it has helped a lot of women. Even fertility doctors will suggest acupuncture at the same time you are doing an IVF cycle.

My awesome sister-in-law, Steph, sent me this note today. Sometimes you just need a pick up and your friends and family will be there for you...you just have to let them in.

"I really do believe that life has a plan for all of us on its own schedule. Some things are meant to test our commitment and patience. Others test our relationships and our sanity. In the end, we will come out stronger and have more of an appreciation for what we went through. We just have to ride the wave. We might wind up in a completely different place than we thought we would, but a good place. A place that's right for us."

Thanks Teffi <3

Cramping Your Style...

PMS is a bitch...we all know this. I've tried several things to minimize the mood swings and the all too-lovely irritability and depression...along with the cramps before the real ones hit.


Previously I had been taking fish oil supplements as part of my daily vitamin regime. I was taking Nordic Naturals and what I liked about it was the addition of borage oil.

(FYI - Nordic Naturals Is the Official Omega-3 of the American Pregnancy Association)

Borage oil, which is much like evening primrose oil, contains gamma linolenic acid, or GLA, a fatty acid that the body converts to a hormone-like substance called prostaglandin that has anti-inflammatory properties and may also act as a blood thinner and blood vessel dilator.

In short, borage oil helps treat PMS symptoms and cramps. But I had to switch my fish oil to the liquid since my skin was so dry this winter. But the liquid didn’t have borage...so I found borage in a capsule on its own and its working better than when it was in the fish oil supplement!

According to Evitamins.com, borage seed oil is the richest source of GLA, containing 20 to 26%. Not only will borage oil help ease PMS and cramps but it can also do wonders for eczema and arthritis.


For more info visit: Evitamin.com or Wikipedia

Heal A Headache...Naturally

Health Your Headache Naturally  check it out on the Examiner.com

Be Free...BPA-Free!!

I don't know about you but I haven't always had the best faith in the Food and Drug Administration (FDA). Nowadays every new pill out there or diet fad can be "FDA approved" and that just doesn’t carry the same weight as it used to.


However, the FDA finally stepped up (somewhat) on cautioning the public that BPA or Bisphenol A - an industrial chemical used to make plastic hard and is found in baby bottles- might not be safe for young children after all.

The FDA's stance is a reversal from its previous thought that the chemical was safe at levels currently found in food containers. BPA is found in bottles, CD's and bike helmets and has been used to make products for some 50 years including containers that hold baby formula.

The "FDA is supporting reasonable steps to reduce human exposure to BPA including actions by industry and recommendations to consumers on food preparation," the report said.

However, the agency didn't go so far as to ban products that contain BPA, including some kinds of infant formula. Plastic containers that contain BPA are usually marked with the number 7 on the bottom.

The main concern of the report is a baby formula that is a liquid premix and packaged in cans. Similac-brand formula is said to be 91% BPA-free and the company is working on the other 9%. Enfamil uses BPA-free packaging for its powered formula but said a replacement for the liquid formula is a bigger challenge, according to a recent article in the Wall Street Journal.

According to http://www.bisphenolafree.org/, BPA is a hormone-disrupting chemical considered to be potentially harmful to human health and the environment. It has been known that scratched and worn polycarbonate feeding bottles will leach this chemical into liquids.

So be safe and not thrifty when it comes to your babies and yourself!

Drinking water from plastic bottles made with the toxic chemical BPA increases urinary levels of the chemical by nearly 70 percent, according to a study conducted by researchers from Harvard University and the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

What can you do? Stop drinking from plastic bottles. Try one of these. They are safe and better for the environment.

As for your baby...there are many options of BPA-free products from bottles to food cookers, etc. This link can help you out further.

Get Your Body In Pregnancy-Ready Shape

Click the link below to read my Examiner.com report on pregnancy health!

Get your body in pregnancy-ready shape

Grrrrrreat!!

Sometimes you have just one of those days where all the crap you worry about, etc, etc comes to the surface and rears its ugly head. You know you should do something; you should think differently and snap yourself out of it. But sometimes it's damn hard.

I was snapped out of it by my mom today so just to center myself I want to make a little list of the things I am most grateful for in my life. Because no matter what, there are people who have it A LOT worse. Just look at the tragedy in Haiti.

So I am grateful for my husband and family; for my very supportive and just all around great friends; a roof over my head; my health; that I still have both of my grandmothers; that my dogs are the best and brighten my day; that I was given opportunities that not all people have. Grateful, grateful, grateful.

Here is something cute you can read everyday...just a little reminder that is dropped into your in-box daily and is free. It's called the Message from the Universe  and it's a little reminder of your power, life's magic and how much you are loved.

You can sign up here!  Below is a recent one:

The things and events of time and space...the stuff that is surrounding you now, your memory of recent events, all simply reveal where you have been, not where you're headed.

Preventing The Flu - Au Naturale

Check out my latest stories on TheExaminer.com. Click on the link below to read and subscribe to my articles!

Preventing the flu - Au naturale

Get the Juices Flowing...

So when I turned 30 one of my best friends, Lena, got me one of the best presents for my birthday! I had recently stopped eating meat and she signed us up for a raw food cooking class at the  Natural Gourmet Institute in NYC. We had such a great time and learned all about the benefits of eating raw. I know that to some this sounds strange and so not tasty but surprisingly it is yummy and quite easy to make.

A raw food diet is based on eating whole, live, nutritionally-dense organic uncooked and un-processed foods as a large percentage of your diet. When 75-100% of your total food consumption is raw food, you are a raw foodist. At that rate it is believed that your body's own elimination system can eliminate all or most of the toxins in the cooked portion of your diet.

When you eat more cooked food you are eating toxins faster than your body can get rid of them so they back up causing disease. Heating food above 118 degrees F. is believed to destroy valuable enzymes in food that can assist in digestion and health.

Ok so you now understand the principles of raw food and why you would eat it. I've done some reading and research on it and I've found that many women who are diagnosed with breast cancer (many of them at a young age - before 40) turn to a raw diet and that along with other treatments have eliminated their cancer or slowed the growth. Check out Crazy Sexy Life

For me it's a way to get more protein, etc that I would normally get from eating meat but without the digestion issues. You can start slowly and the best way to ease into this and help detox on some level is to Juice!

Juicing is easy and quick and you can get full servings of fresh veggies, etc in one glass. My two favorite books for raw food are Raw Food Made Easy by Jennifer Cornbleet (she taught the class that we took) and Raw Food Detox Diet by Natalia Rose.

I've taken their recipes for "green lemonade" and "green juice" and just made up my own recipe. One item you do need to continue to this juicing journey is a juicer. I have this one

It's an investment but if you commit to juicing and see the health benefits then it's worth it!

Alison's Juice (I drink a glass in the morning. This is the first thing in my stomach)
-2-4 stalks of Kale
-One peeled lemon
-2-4 apples
-4-6 carrots
-1-2 TBSP ginger
You can also add a handful of fresh parsley or cilantro as well. Sometimes I also throw in a whole peeled cucumber.

I know, kale is not sexy. But it is one of the best veggies you can eat! It has a powerful taste so add a little and go from there.

Here is a fun way to use fruit and veggies...you can make this for your kiddies and they won't be able to tell a thing and all you need is your blender. In Jennifer Cornbleet's book she has a smoothie recipe. I make this one quite often.

Berry Smoothie

1/4 cup water (you may need to add more as you blend)
1 ripe banana
1 cup fresh or frozen blueberries, strawberries or blackberries
Handful of fresh spinach (you won't even taste it)
Alternatively you can add some green powder like Green Super Food which you can get at any health food store...don't add too much or it will be too much green for your smoothie. I usually add about 1/2 scoop.

My niece loves it!

Namaste...Just Breathe

I've practiced yoga on and off since my early 20's...trying several different types. Over the past year I've really become more serious about my practice. I might go to the yoga studio kicking and screaming some days but once I leave there I feel great. I also have the best yoga teachers and just love seeing them. If you happen to live in my neck of the woods, this is where I go

It's such a place of love and spirituality and goodness that it just makes you feel super! I wish everyone could find a place like that to unwind from their life. I really implore all of you, even if you think you have no time at all, take one hour out of your week and connect and be in the moment.

One important part of yoga practice is your breathing. It truly is one of the most important parts of the entire practice.

So I am going to let you in on a little secret. You can do this breathing while you are sitting in your car, watching TV, breastfeeding, taking a bath, sitting on the subway...whenever you get a free moment.

It is called Ujjayi Pranayama (pronounced ood-jaw-yee praa-naa-yaa-ma) also known as "ocean breath" because you narrow the inside of your throat, which exaggerates the sound of your breath, so you can hear it. Imagine the flow of the ocean - the waves crashing in and then pulling back - that is what you can imagine while taking your Ujjayi breath.

Take a moment to narrow your throat (you can clear your throat to find the muscles - don't use your neck muscles - this is all about what is inside). Breathe through your nose and as you slow down your breath and smooth out the flow, the sound becomes consistent and steady (kind of like darth vader:). Slowing your breath and breathing the Ujjayi breath for 20 minutes does wonders for your body and soul!

If your mind is racing or your anxiety and stress level are high - you need to do more breathing! The slow pace of your Ujjayi breath allows time for your cells to absorb the oxygen you are inhaling, improving the efficiency of your cellular respiration further. This breathing practice improves your metabolism, which affects the way your body handles nutrients from your food. At the same time each exhalation empties out more toxins and waste products than all other forms of excretion combined.

Ujjayi Pranayama quiets your mind and gives you an inner base of surety that makes everything easier to handle. If you need healing for any condition do Ujjayi Pranayama for 20 minutes twice a day - think of it as bookends of your day!

If you cannot do 20 mins...then 5 minutes is better than nothing. Just remember to breathe and if thoughts pop into your head while doing this exercise just let them float by and just picture the ocean along with the flow of your breath!

If The Walls Are A Rockin'....Don't Come A Knockin'

So your bedroom is your sanctuary. It has always been for me and I always wanted something very comfy and cute. Since moving to Bangor to my mom's place...our room is very blah! Leaving NY we finally had a cute bedroom with color on the walls and all that. We don't plan to be here too much longer so we didn't want to get into painting...so we decided to change what we could bring with us! Our old-ass headboard. This headboard and the furniture that comes with it are in the Asian style and about 25 years old. It was the first bedroom set that my mom bought after her divorce. It’s seen better days.


So since I want a lovely place to go to sleep at night and as of Jan. 1 I am ready for change...Ant and I decided to re-do the headboard ourselves. It definitely took longer than we thought but it's well worth it!

This is the original headboard...just lovely some 20+ years ago...Ant and I have been dragging this thing around since I left Long Beach in 2001.

Below is my lovely hubby going along with my plan to make a change...he is cutting the wood to make a better shape! We spent about 2-1/2 days on the whole thing from finding the fabric and supplies to hand sewing 22 buttons on for tufting!

Back inside we added the foam padding and then covered it with batting...

We stretched the material over the entire headboard, stapled it into the back then sewed on the dreaded buttons. No photos exist of those horrid 3 hours. Holes were drilled in the back of the headboard and we pulled the nylon thread through the holes added the buttons then pushed it back through the foam, etc - most times getting back to the other side took FOREVER!! But voilà it is done!

A small change made a big difference for our bed...hopefully it will add some magic too :)

New Year, New Opportunities, Start Fresh

While I loathe New Year's resolutions I am all for a picking a new starting point. A new place to jump off and get going. Jan. 1 works just fine for me and I am kicking the New Year off with a diet change.


I read Body & Soul magazine (thanks Steph & Dom!) and decided to take a stab at their Whole Body Action Plan
A 28-day diet and exercise regime. It starts with 4 days of detox on a mostly liquid diet.

I've detoxed before and as I was doing this one I was wondering if the peeps at Body & Soul (and even Martha S. herself) had tried these recipes? Some of the smoothies were good like the mango one but others lacked taste and were not that filling. Check out the recipes here

So one day into it and I was starving after a lunch of salmon and ate a pound of almonds to make it to dinner. Dinner that night was a cucumber soup...it was water down and just plain crappy. I had rice pasta with vodka sauce instead :) So much for detoxing! If you really want to detox and get rid of some build up in the body... I am sorry to say it but colonics are the way to go!

Since this baby journey began 2+ years ago, I've changed my diet quite drastically. Cutting out most meat except fish and working hard at eating all-natural organic foods, shopping on the perimeters of the supermarket and taking good quality vitamins.

One thing I've had yet to try was cutting out a good portion of gluten from my diet. Gluten or not to Gluten...that is the question of the day. I've been putting this one off for a while. Gluten is a type of protein that is commonly found in rye, wheat, and barley. Therefore, it is found in most types of cereals and in many types of bread. For people diagnosed with an allergy to gluten it can cause inflammation in and damage to the lining of the small intestine, resulting in diarrhea, malabsorption, fat in the stool, and nutritional and vitamin deficiencies.

While I haven't been tested for celiac disease (an allergy to gluten) I am attempting to cut back on it to see how I feel. There is a frozen pizza I eat on occasion and while it’s all-natural...I always seem to get a headache after eating it. I suspect it's the gluten. I get headaches occasionally and would like to cut them out completely. My other reason is baby-related of course...since that is the theme of this blog.

Researchers who have studied women with infertility have found that they test positive for celiac disease-related antibodies at a rate that is ten-fold higher than the normal population. They have also demonstrated that women with infertility who are diagnosed with celiac disease do not always exhibit iron, B-12, or folate deficiencies, which points to other celiac disease-related explanations for the development of their infertility.

So I am on it...or off it I should say. If I can cut meat out of my diet I can cut gluten out. I am talking about bread and cookies and cakes mostly. I was given a recipe for gluten-free bread and it was easy to make...it’s more like batter versus regular dough. The recipe came from this Book

It came out pretty nice and tasted delish!