Say No To Message Boards...

So along this journey sometimes I feel really low and just want some answers...so I happened to turn to the Internet and found myself on a message board on a certain website. HUGE mistake. I went to the section for women trying to conceive for 6+ months. Like I said I was feeling low and decided to spill my story with detail to women who I thought could understand or offer some support. After the post I realized that message boards like these are basically little cliches of pissed off women who DO NOT like just anyone writing in their space.

I find that the infertility journey becomes a label for so many people going through this. It's so easy to get sucked in but if you realize that it doesn't define you, then its easier to deal with it overall.

Needless to say I got upset about the message board and the sad behavior of these women but then I felt sorry for them and how badly they were sucked into the idea that infertility is their life and who they are not just a bump along the road of their life.

So if you need to talk or spill the beans....write in a journal, call your mom or your best friend or your husband. Get it off your chest...just don't look to message boards for that!

In fairness to the website that hosts this particular message board - I like the website and find it useful. When I dropped an email to the editorial staff they removed the offending message board thread and were very nice about it.

Watching the Grass Grow...

I am looking for a miracle...some gem stone, rock salt lamp, miracle water that will somehow make a baby in my belly. I am in month 22 of trying to conceive and now I am growing my own grass and I don't mean the kind you smoke (although if I am more relaxed maybe my girls will let my hubby's boys in). I am talking about wheat grass....you just need a shot of it daily and I am growing mine in the kitchen. I am also hoping the wacky cats in this house don't decide to dig it up and "mark" it. Oh how I love cats :p. Another blog for another day!

So below is how it all began....much like where the magic happens - for seeds that is. If only making a baby was this easy...I could germinate and harvest a few in a week.

I've said many times throughout this baby-making process "it seems so easy for everyone else" Lots of friends have had drunken nights in Mexico that led to their bouncing babies nine months later...heck my family members were even teenagers. My mom says "It's because it is easy." UGHHHHHH!!!

Okay...so back to the grass. A few years back I saw the documentary Crazy, Sexy, Cancer and among the many impacts it had on me, one was becoming a (somewhat) vegetarian, I also learned about wheat grass. You can drink it or you can also put it in a place "where the sun don't shine." (I kid you not!) The only place I will be sticking it is in a juicer and into a cup that I will drink.

Some proclaim it as "nature's miracle" so I am testing out the miracle properties. I bought my kit online at http://www.wheatgrasskits.com/

Back to watching the grass grow for now....

How it all began...seeds

The Grass is Growing!! 4"


Miss Prissy is not interested...good for me!

Ollie would rather eat rawhide :)

Once Upon a Time in Mexico

So the dance of conception began during a steamy night in Mexico. My hubby and I were there celebrating the wedding of a friend and we decided to start - what we thought would be a quick journey - to parenthood. We calculated the due date while sitting in the pool having a cocktail. But somehow (and for the next 4+ years since that wedding in Cabo) when the sperm and egg walk into a bar together they end up leaving alone. Maybe the egg didn't like the sperm's cool moves but whatever the case here several years later wondering if those two will ever tango?

I am always looking for someone who maybe on the same journey as me with the same circumstances who might be able to tell me some secret I have missed....my stats are pretty normal...unexplained infertility, totally normal cycles, tried one month of fertility drugs and hated it, then went the natural way (herbs, traditional Chinese medicine, nutritionist, yoga...) I am generally happy and healthy...so what gives? If it's the mind of matter thing then I am on overload.

So this is my journey...just wanted to share what I am doing along the way!